Child and Teen Therapy: Stress & how they process it differently.
By Elise Miller MA, PLPC
Stress– it’s an inevitable part of life, and one whose effects we tend to underestimate as human beings. We are usually able to point out the “telltale” signs of stress in adults, whether it be anxiety, sleep difficulties, or a generally poor mood. For kids and teenagers, stress can look many different ways, which can leave adults feeling confused as to how to respond. With back to school season now upon us, it’s important to be aware of how stress impacts the kids and adolescents you care about.
Stress in Kids
For young children, stress is often processed behaviorally, rather than verbally. Research indicates that children below the age of 13 lack abstract reasoning skills that allow individuals to put their complex emotions and thoughts into words (Dumontheil, 2014). If you notice that attempting to “talk it out” with young children leads to frustration and confusion, this may be a reason why! Some behaviors that may come out when a child feels stressed or anxious about life events or transitions include outbursts of anger, defiance, trouble sleeping, or differences in their attachment (i.e. becoming extra “clingy”, wanting more space, or increased conflicts with siblings, peers, and parents). Additionally, kids may complain of the physical effects of stress, reporting
stomachaches or headaches.
Stress in Teens
For teenagers, the impacts of stress often look a bit different. The adolescent experience is marked by new life events, new hormones, and an attempt to cope with these changes with a developing brain that often creates confusion and frustration. Between emotions becoming more complex, neurological changes, and a lot of “firsts”, it’s a lot to handle! Some of the ways that stress shows up for this age group may include social withdrawal, irritability, isolation, and emotions that appear “bigger” than emotions in adults. In fact, the parts of the brain that process emotion and the “fight or flight” response are deeply impacted by the hormones that this life stage bring about, meaning that teenagers feel emotions more deeply than adults during this time in their life (Romeo, 2014).
The Good News
With the understanding of how kids and adolescents experience stressors differently, it makes sense that caregivers or support systems for loved ones at this developmental stage are unsure of how to help. The good news is that you are not alone in navigating this uncertainty, and there are several ways to help.
Practicing Coping Skills: Healthy coping skills, such as encouraging mindfulness exercises, deep breathing techniques, and finding healthier outlets for stress can bridge the gap and lead to some relief.
Many Therapy Techniques Available: A skilled mental health therapist can tailor treatments to assist kids and adolescents meet their unique set of needs through traditional talk therapy, play therapy, and skills training.
Collaborating with your Child: Allowing for your child to be part of their healing journey allows for both children and caregivers to feel supported in finding solutions that meet the needs of the entire support system.
The biggest takeaway? Showing up for the kids and adolescents in your life through actions and an “I am here with you” attitude is often the most important piece of the puzzle. Listening with care and a desire to understand in a meaningful way goes a long way.
Works Cited:
Dumontheil, I. (2014). Development of abstract thinking during childhood and
adolescence: The role of rostrolateral prefrontal cortex. Developmental Cognitive
Neuroscience, 10, 57–76. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dcn.2014.07.009
Romeo, R. D. (2013). The teenage brain. Current Directions in Psychological Science,
22(2), 140–145. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721413475445
Ready to meet with Elise or one of our therapists? We have teen counseling, child therapy, anxiety therapy, and many other modalities available for your child.
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